Tribute to a Sister by Jamilah Marjan

19 May 2011

My siblings and I got an email from Cik Lah last week. She had written a tribute to Mak. I had to share it with family and especially for Mak's grandkids. I wish that Mak had gotten the chance to know and play with all her grandkids. I wish I could have known her better too. She was an amazing woman with style and grace and was an excellent cook. I remember that she was not afraid to say her mind.  Most of her friends say that amongst my sisters I look most like her but I know that I lack the style and grace and I definitely can't cook! My sisters got that portion, I think. I also write more (privately) than I speak (publicly) :)

I want to say thank you to Bak for taking such very good care of Mak all these years. Your love & devotion to her is so amazing and something that all couples should aspire to. Despite the fact that she had been unable to talk to us for 15 years, her easy passing and knowing that now she is in a better place, I think Bak and us are still taken aback by her sudden departure. There is a void in our lives now and now we grieve and do what we can to help her in the after life.

Al-Fatihah buat Mak tersayang.

Cik Lah gave me permission to put her tribute in Facebook.  It is a lovely tribute. Thank you Cik Lah. Means a lot to me. - Tuti




Tribute to a Sister by Jamilah Marjan
Assalamualaikum Dearest Friends,

I just wanna thank everyone for all the doa either via emails or all the smses that I received. Arfah, to your question it's not my sister Kak Arah, Kak Amal or Chom. It's my sister Saedah. To your question Lin of my sister's departure seemed mengejut as I was with you ( did not mention anything) on Sunday with the Ustaz telling us that the ultimate is to die in khusnulkhatimah. I'd like to say that of my sister's departure. Arwah had a surgery done to take care of the veins in the head in May 1996. Don't know any scientific terms. After the surgery she was in a coma for several weeks and of which after that she seemed to recover but was bedridden and noncommunicative since then until the day she passed away yesterday.She was in that state for 15 years 1 week exactly (so my bro-in-law said) and not a single sin since. May Allah shower His blessings on her soul.

The first three in my family are boys and arwah was the eldest girl alive then. Girls being girls are always to help with taking care of her other siblings with 6 adiks below her. Dad a garderner and mom 'the career' as per Ida's email. A year after I was born she was already a trained teacher from Kirby, Liverpool (Al your mom went there as well kan?) and I kept the brown teddy bear she bought me until the time I could remember having it. Me and her are like 20 years apart.

When I was young, she was my ticket out of JB during school holidays. My bro-in-law was a MARA officer back then, he was my brother's best friend (kira kahwin dengan adik kawan la ni). After my sis got married she went everywhere her husband went and being a teacher it was easy to move as well. From JB to Jalan Merdeka in Batu Pahat, to Mersing ( Zurai, Al, I used to meet our childhood friend Hafsah after she moved there), Muar, then at Jalan Tranquerah in Malacca until she settled down in KL at 12, Jalan Kent Dua in KL.Al was her neighbour for a while, right Al?

Wherever she lived I would go visit and she will make sure we go to see places of interest. I still have photos at the Formosa diri tepi cannon. Then the Cannon seemed big but not anymore. My photos at tugu Peringatan and many more. My children pun tak de gambar kat tugu Peringatan. Climbing up Batu Caves you name it she would take us everywhere.Coming from an 'OK we have enough kinda background' (Zurai and Al probably remember my home or family- or I never invited them out of shame-I can't remember anymore), it was the world to me getting to see these places. In not so many words she was my mentor.

The day I went to TKC both she and my bro-in-law sent me. She was always the replacement for my mother and father since they were in JB and my sis in KL. Throughout the 5 years in TKC both of them and their children were my only visitors from the family. My parents never knew or seen TKC. The day I went to England too it was like I was her daughter, even though my parents were there sending me off.

Ever since she was married, in Batu Pahat, her mom-in law, her sister-inlaw and bro-in-law lived with her for many years. After that it was anak saudara my bro-in-law, then cucu saudara, then my brother, then me, then my cousin's son, my nephew and many more lived with her... Both of them literally open their houses to all the clans in need believe me not for a few days but some for years from start of semester to graduation especially those who studied at UTM... It was like that until she couldn't take care of anyone anymore. Her last intake was she adopted my cousin's son, Amir and took care of him like her own and he was the only one not around yesterday as he works in Thailand. Amir is as old as Reza. She has five children of her own 2 boys and 3 girls, all bathed her and yesterday the two sons received her and placed her at her final resting place.

There are no words to define love. Allah is love, family is love, children are love, grandchildren love and friendship like ours is love.Thank you.