That was the name of my online store. Bak and I started it in December 2008. Finally after almost 6 and a half years, I decided to put it on a back burner or kind of put it on hold indefinitely but basically what it means is right now I have stopped conducting business online.
I was beginning to feel that I was never fully present in anything that I do. It seemed that I was always rushing and I was not doing the best that I can in everything that I do and I didn't have a proper down time or me time. What made me feel worst was that I could not be present in the moment when I am with you. I mean physically I am always with you but my head and my mind just wasn't there. I may be with you but I was itching to get back to the computer because I had tasks to complete. Then when I am at the computer, I get easily irritated whenever you need me because I had to stop and my concentration is interrupted and then when I had attended to you, I had to change mode back to the business woman and then I had to stop again to become the cleaner, the cook, the teacher, the driver, the nanny and of course the mother. It is just terrible to balance this act on my own. I don't even have time to play with you.
I thought what is the point. I should feel like this if I work outside the home, if I were to work in an office away from home but here I am working at home and still feeling super stretched and unavailable emotionally.I have been slowly pulling away and doing less on the business but that is unfair to the customers and clients who has their stuff on consignment with me. So by the end of your standard 3 year, I have officially terminated all consignments and stopped selling online. Now 10 months down the road, I feel a whole lot better.
It is not easy being a stay at home mom. It is wonderful but not easy, unless maybe you are so rich that you can hire a maid, a nanny, a driver, a cook, a teacher and god knows what else a mom does. I'm too tired to list it all down. It is a lot of work. People used to call stay-at -home moms - ladies of leisure. Right now I think my title should be lady of manual labour. I also detest the term housewife but that is what society has come up with. I think I should be given the designation work-at-home mom because seriously I do work. At home. All the time. Seriously. Don't believe me dear society? Try it. I dare you.
